Winnipeg Sun

January 02, 2000

He Said She Said: Will women rule 21st Century?

By LYN COCKBURN -- Winnipeg Sun

Winston Churchill, or maybe it was Jim Carrey, once said: "The 20th Century belongs to Canada." Whatever. He was wrong.

Lyn Cockburn says, "The 21st Century belongs to women." She is right.

Otherwise, we're in big trouble.

Just look what guys have given the world so far -- wars, pestilence, curling, The Dark Ages, chaos, hunger, poverty, pollution, pornography, rap and religion. May I quickly point out that I have nothing in particular against religion, it's just that every time one of you decided you were right about something (and Lord knows, you guys are really bad about being right), you started up a new religion. Couldn't let well enough alone, could you? I won't even bring up The Crusades.

Worth mentioning and totally unforgivable are: Pol Pot, World Wars I, Ross McLennan, & II, Michael Bolton, Vietnam, John Rocker, Chechnya and Hummers.

Guys like Gandhi, Mandela, Antonio Banderas and Martin Luther King Jr. somewhat make up for the other bits of flotsam and jetsam, but unfortunately, the list of guys in black hats goes on forever while the list of guys in white hats is relatively short. I for one would like to see Antonio Banderas wearing a white hat -- and nothing else.

Where was I? Oh yes, the 21st Century. It belongs to women. Let's face it, six uneducated warthogs with all their legs tied behind their backs could do a better job than men have done so far. Hell, an underwatered philodendron could do better. Ross McLennan should not be allowed to run anything other than a bath -- and the sooner the better.

And it's not as though you guys were on your best behaviour at the beginning of time and then slipped into bad habits. Right away Cain was after Abel, offed him, he did. Do we hear anything bad about the daughters in the Adams family? Of course not, it was the boys, Cain and Abel, a phenomenon which continues with 95 per cent of youth crime being committed by guys. Although, it is worth noting that at least in Winnipeg, girls are beginning to play catchup; in fact, some have successfully passed their arson courses.

In other words, no matter how you look at the last two to five thousand years, you guys have done a rotten job.

It is time, hell it has been time for a long time, for women to take over. No more premiers meetings consisting of nothing but suits, ditto G-7 summits. As for male dominated religion, military, sports, entertainment and corporations -- forgeddaboudit.

Integration hasn't worked as well as intended. It is only grudgingly that men have shared the sandbox, putting up silly arguments every time women wanted to: enter medical school, become engineers, control their own reproduction, drive trucks, design trucks, play hockey, join the military, the list is endless.

Fine. Get out of the sandbox. It's our turn. It's that simple.

In politics, we know that change is good. We know that a fresh party brings fresh ideas and so, we put up with the Conservatives, the Liberals, the Whomevers until we're tired of them. We boot them out and vote in a new group until we get tired of them too.

It is time to do exactly that with men. The message for the 21st Century is: We love you, but move over. You've had your chance -- for far too long -- step aside.

On the one hand, women leaders in the 21st Century will have a tough time cleaning up after the mess men have made of the world (but then, traditionally, women have had a lot of experience in that field); on the other hand, six warthogs with all their legs ... could not do worse than you guys.

Anyway guys, relax and enjoy the 21st Century. Just sit back, or maybe lie back and let women look after you. You'll enjoy being sex objects. Somebody give me Antonio's phone number, quick.


Lyn Cockburn can be reached by e-mail at lcockburn@wpgsun.com.
Letters to the editor should be sent to editor@wpgsun.com.

Copyright © 2000, Canoe Limited Partnership.