The Sun

FRIDAY, 22 DECEMBER, 2000 WEDNESDAY, 18 OCTOBER, 2000

WHY MORE WOMEN STRAY


Charlie ... had a fling

By JENNY FORSYTH
and SHARON HENDRY

The Sun.

THE sizzling affairs of TV stars Anthea Turner and Charlie Dimmock have exposed a startling trend - more and more women are cheating on their partners.

For years men have been regarded as homewreckers - eagerly rushing into the arms of new lovers.

But now these female celebrities have shown that women are almost as likely to carry on a secret liason.

First Anthea, 40, gave a graphic account of her stormy affair with married father-of-three Grant Bovey - now her third husband.

Then busty gardener Charlie, 34, was caught cheating by her longstanding boyfriend John Mushet, 40, with Andy Simmonds, 27, a sound engineer on her Ground Force series.


Anthea ... married three times

Now former Coronation Street beauty Sarah Lancashire, 36, has openly flaunted her love for BBC1 controller Peter Salmon, 44.

The father of three young sons has left his partner of 20 years, Penny Wyatt, to set up home with Sarah, who has two boys aged 12 and 10 from her ten-year marriage to musician Gary. That ended three years ago.

But it's not just famous women who are straying. A recent survey revealed that a staggering 60 per cent of females in serious relationships have cheated on their partners.

And figures from the National Survey Of Sexual Attitudes And Lifestyles show that adultery is increasing.

A third of divorcees now blame affairs for the breakdown of their marriages.

Sun Agony Aunt Deidre Sanders says: "Men have always been associated with affairs. But nowadays women are getting the same opportunities to have affairs and they expect better quality sex lives."

Deidre says the consequences of infidelity can be devastating for everyone, especially when children are involved.

And men and women appear to have have affairs for very different reasons.

Deidre says: "In the late Eighties I commissioned an extensive survey asking 10,000 men and women what they got out of an affair.

"Some 64 per cent of men said it was because they had the opportunity while 60 per cent of women said it was more exciting and because they wanted someone to talk to.

"As wives and long-term partners, women get stuck in very humdrum roles and it's irresistible when they find someone who sees them as a sexual being rather than a person who is responsible for the washing and ironing.

My research also shows that for a third of all women an affair is sexually satisfying and emotionally rewarding.

"Men can get very lazy sexually. I get a lot of letters from women who say their men have stopped bothering with foreplay as well as making sure sex is good for them."

But she says the sexual affairs of celebrity women are caused by other reasons.

"People like Anthea and Charlie live very rewarding lives outside of the home, encountering lots of people who are very excited to meet them," she says.

"They barely see the people at home so they invariably build up relationships with the people they are spending time out on the road with."

Sun Woman has spoken to women who have lived through affairs and asked them how the experience has affected their lives.

Clare Young


Clare ... had two lovers at once

NANNY Claire was devoted to her childhood sweetheart for two years until a chance meeting in a nightclub led to an illicit affair.

Claire, 22, says: "I started going out with Dave in 1997 and it was bliss. Weíd known each other since we were 13.

"He was great looking and so romantic. But after a while he got complacent and stopped doing all the nice things and paying compliments."

Claire, of Chalfont St Peter, Bucks, said: "One night I saw this gorgeous guy, Richard. He was good looking, said the right things and I guess there was excitement in flirting.

"We started seeing each other. I felt a bit guilty but I reckon men have been doing this for years. It was time for a woman to have some fun.

"In the end I told Dave Iíd met someone else. I said I wanted to see them both.

"He was really annoyed but went along with it. I could have my cake and eat it too!

Richard was a bit of a charmer and really social but Dave was more romantic and our friendship was very strong.

"After a couple of months, both guys had had enough. They told me I had to choose. I split up with both of them.

"I figured that if I could find two great guys like that I could find another one and I did.

"Earlier this year I met Ricky and - wham - that was it.

"Iíve told him about my past but it makes no difference to our relationship because I would NEVER cheat on him.

"Weíre planning to get married. Thatís the secret. If youíre really in love you donít need to look for anyone else."

Mandy Rudeforth


Passionate ... Mandy broke bed

SHOP assistant Mandy Rudeforth was only married to kitchen assistant Leslie for 15 months and had a baby girl when she started an affair with a builder.

She moved in with married lover Stuart, now 43, and they had a son Darren, who is ten.

But after 12 years together they split up. Mandyís daughter from her marriage, Leanne, is now 13.

Mandy, 36, of Filey, North Yorks, says: "I met Stuart at a friendís birthday party in a local pub. He was gorgeous.

"That night I couldnít sleep I was so excited. Iíd never felt like that with my husband. I didnít love Leslie in a passionate way.

"He was a good, kind man and caring. But sex was not great.

"Weíd got into a dull routine. He was a pipe-and slippers man and not at all sexually adventurous.

"After our first date, Stuart and I saw each other every second possible. Every time he came near me my heart raced. Les guessed something was wrong but I blamed stress at work.

"We went on holiday to Blackpool but I couldnít stop thinking about Stuart and rang him every spare second.

"The moment I got back I told Les I was going out for a loaf and ran straight to Stuart.

"Stuart and I arranged to go away to Leeds. We hardly got into our hotel room before we were tearing off each otherís clothes. The sex was electric.

"We did it in the shower, on the floor, in the bed. We had to have a new bed because we broke the first one.

"We kept our affair secret for about a year before I finally confessed to Les. Stuart, Leanne and I moved to Leeds and three years later we had Darren.

"After twelve roller-coaster years we finally split up but are good friends.

"I feel sad we didnít stay together for ever. Heís my soulmate but I have no regrets."

Kirsty Conteh


Confident ... singer Kirsty

SINGER Kirsty cheated on her fella TWICE. She said: "Bradley was my first love.

"He was charming, fun-loving, caring - everything you could want in a man.

"Not that my mum and dad saw it that way. Dad called him a Ďwaste of space.í

"But I was too much in love to listen. I gave up my hobby, singing in a band, to spend more time with Bradley.

"For the first two years we were blissfully happy.

Kirsty, 21, of Newcastle under Lyme, Staffs, added: "Then Bradley started being unreliable, not turning up for dates. I became uneasy.

"Stupidly, to prove to myself that I was still attractive, I slept with someone else.

"Unfortunately, Bradley found out. He was beside himself. ĎWill you marry me tomorrow?í he sobbed. It was his way of proving his commitment.

"We got married two months later, just after my 18th birthday. Life was perfect again. But six months later Bradley changed. He got in with the wrong crowd.

"They regularly hit Manchesterís nightclubs. I hardly saw him.

"When I questioned him, he got snappy and defensive. I lost all my confidence.

"Bradleyís mate, Chalkie, was a godsend. He understood my feelings.

"Bradley was never around and I wanted company. One thing led to another and I ended up spending two or three nights a week with Chalkie.

"If Bradley was home, I told him I was at mumís. I didnít feel guilty. I loved being with Chalkie he made me feel like a real woman.

"Our affair was purely sexual. After three passionate weeks, it fizzled out. But it made me realise I could have fun.

"I left Bradley and went to stay at my dadís house. It was tough at first. Bradley begged me to come back. For the first week, I really missed him.

"Then my mates started dragging me out and then you couldnít keep me in! I felt so free and happy.

"Now Iíve found someone who makes me truly happy. Avronís considerate and prefers spending time with me.

"I know how much he loves me and I trust him. Iíve gone back to singing in bands too.

"Thanks to my affair, my confidence is back."

© News Group Newspapers Ltd.